I THINK I FORGOT SOMETHING

I lost it.
I cannot remember when the last time was.
It’s gone.
It feels like all is lost.
Perhaps it is for the better.
It left me without telling me why or how.
It is no longer here.
I cannot find it, and I cannot make it.
It is making me feel numb about everything.
Things don’t make sense to me like before.
I can pretend that I still have it, as if I was born with it, but inside me, I am beginning to hate the way I am acting.
I feel like I’m a fraud.
As if I am a living lie.
Something tells me that I have to keep on pretending.
Like there is an obligation to present yourself in a certain manner.
Other’s will expect you to behave in a certain way.
They will question you, but you have to act confident and act like you know what you are about.
I don’t know what things are supposed to mean anymore.
Everything seems the same to me.
Beautiful things are still beautiful, but I cannot feel its beauty.
I don’t know how to be happy, or how to be sad.
I am just there, and it is gone.
I have forgotten something.
Will I remember?
Will it come back to me?
I think I forgot my creativity.